Bay Area residents lead Camp Kesem to support kids whose parents have cancer

By Sharon Chin

Five million children are impacted by a parent’s cancer diagnosis, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and two Bay Area leaders are harnessing the power of community to bring them hope and healing.

Camp Kesem is a special retreat where children can embrace the joys of childhood and leave their burdens behind. Kesem CEO Jay Stilwell and founder Iris Wedeking bring the experience to life.

“My personal motivation was to give those kids that kind of magical experience that could be a healing experience for them,” Wedeking said.

“Alumni who’ve been through the camp say, ‘Kesem saved my life.’ It’s just amazing,” added Stilwell.

Wedeking started the program in 2000 when she was working to engage Stanford University students in community service. They discovered that children with a parent fighting cancer need their own source of support.

That’s how Camp Kesem was born.

“The word, kesem, means magic in Hebrew, and the vision was to create a magical place for these kids who are going through a very challenging time in their lives to feel safe, loved and accepted,” Wedeking explained.

College students run the free camps, and children aged 6 to 18 find light and empathy among their peers. There are chapters on 117 college campuses in 41 states.

Stilwell sent his daughter to the camp in 2015, a year after her mom lost her battle with cancer.

“After losing her mom, she was terrified of leaving my side,” Stilwell said. “And honestly, it was hard for me to have her leave my side.”

At camp, she made friends, connected with counselors and with other kids who understood her feelings.

“I will never forget seeing the smile on her face as she walked off the bus after that first week of camp,” he recalled. “It felt like hope to me. That’s what Kesem has given me.”

In 25 years, the nonprofit has served more than 90,000 children whose parents were touched by cancer. Kesem offers year-round activities like family fun days and virtual support groups. But the overnight camps are the biggest changemakers.

“Parents would tell us, ‘My kid came back a different child. My kid came back full of joy, hope and connection with other peers,'” Wedeking said.

Samira Agarwal’s father was diagnosed with cancer when she was 16 and lost his battle two years later. Agarwal was a Camp Kesem counselor for four years and says the campers gave her more than she taught them.

“You lose such a big part of your childhood, and you are forced to grow up,” Agarwal said. “And so many of the kids reminded me that I still deserved to have a level of my childhood and teenage years that were ripped away from me.”

Today, Agarwal serves on Kesem’s alumni advisory board – her way to give back.

“It completely saved my life,” Agarway said. “It has carried me through my grief.”

Stilwell says 96% of parents report their kids’ mental health improved after participating in Kesem. And their own mental health also got better.

Testimonials like that inspire Stillwell and Wedeking to keep Kesem growing.

“Healing happens when you’re surrounded by other people who understand what it’s like to have a parent with cancer,” Stilwell stated.

“We’re thrilled to have campers and students stay with the Kesem family for a lifetime,” said Wedeking.