Monkey branching in relationships: The psychology behind it and its impact

PK Studio // Shutterstock

 

Relationships are intricate, and the ways people move from one to another can reveal deeper emotional patterns. One particularly harmful dynamic that has drawn increasing attention is known as monkey branching, sometimes referred to as monkey barring, which LifeStance Health examines in this story. This behavior involves maintaining one relationship while secretly forming another, often leading to emotional confusion, broken trust and lasting effects for both partners involved.

What is monkey branching?

Monkey branching occurs when someone in a committed relationship begins forming romantic or emotional connections with other potential partners while still maintaining their current relationship. The term comes from the image of a monkey swinging from one branch to another—never letting go of one before securing the next.

In relationships, this means a person is lining up their next partner before ending their current relationship, creating an overlap that often involves emotional and sometimes physical infidelity.

This behavior differs from normal relationship transitions in several ways.

Intention: Monkey branching is premeditated. The person seeks new relationship prospects while still committed to someone else.
Timing: Healthy transitions occur after a breakup; monkey branching involves deliberate overlap.
Transparency: The individual engaging in monkey branching typically hides their intentions, often through deception.

Is monkey branching considered cheating?

While monkey branching does not always involve physical intimacy, it often crosses emotional boundaries. The secrecy, deception and emotional investment in someone else typically constitute a form of emotional infidelity in most monogamous relationships.

Whether it’s labeled “cheating” depends on the boundaries established within the relationship, but for most couples, the behavior represents a breach of trust.

What are some psychological reasons behind monkey branching?
Understanding why someone engages in monkey branching may help both those who experience it and those affected by it.

Fear of being alone
Monkey branching may be influenced by a deep fear of being alone, dissatisfaction in the relationship or a lack of commitment. People who struggle with solitude may try to ensure a new relationship is secure before leaving the current one.

Attachment and security issues
Some individuals who engage in monkey branching behaviors may experience attachment issues, self-esteem challenges and difficulty with commitment. Individuals with anxious attachment styles may constantly seek reassurance and validation, turning to new romantic interests as a way to soothe insecurity or bolster their sense of self-worth.

Emotional avoidance and low self-esteem
Emotional avoidance may play a role in monkey branching for some individuals. Those who engage in this pattern may be “stockpiling” emotional or relational connections to protect themselves from feelings of abandonment or rejection. Instead of addressing internal fears or dissatisfaction, they look outward for validation and distraction.

Pursuit of novelty and excitement
For some, monkey branching stems from a craving for novelty. The excitement of a new relationship can feel intoxicating, especially when compared to the familiarity of a long-term relationship. This pursuit of emotional highs may become addictive and prevent the development of deeper, more stable connections.

How it impacts both partners

Monkey branching may have painful and lasting effects on both individuals involved.

For the partner being left
The partner being left behind often experiences feelings of betrayal, self-doubt and abandonment. They may question what they did wrong or wonder why they weren’t “enough,” which may damage self-esteem and make it difficult to trust future partners.

For the person engaging in monkey branching
The person who engages in monkey branching often experiences guilt, regret and internal conflict. This behavior may contribute to ongoing patterns of avoidance and low self-worth—seeking connection without ever feeling secure in it. Without addressing the underlying issues, they may repeat the pattern in future relationships, perpetuating instability and dissatisfaction.

Monkey branching vs. rebounding

While monkey branching and rebounding may seem similar, they differ in important ways.

Rebounding:

• Happens after a breakup.
• Serves as a coping mechanism for loss.
• Is typically impulsive, not premeditated.
• Does not involve deception.

Monkey Branching:

• Occurs during an existing relationship.
• Is intentional and strategic.
• Involves cultivating a new connection while maintaining an old one.
• Typically includes secrecy.

The key difference lies in timing and transparency. Rebounding happens sequentially; monkey branching happens in overlap.

Signs your partner might be monkey branching

Recognizing warning signs can help prevent deeper breaches of trust. Common red flags include:

• Increased secrecy about phones, passwords or communications.
• Emotional withdrawal or lack of interest in the relationship’s future.
• Frequent mentions of a new friend or colleague without clear context.
• Changed social media behavior, such as increased posting but less interaction with you.
• Unexplained schedule changes or reduced availability.
• Less willingness to resolve conflicts or engage emotionally.

Can relationships that begin with monkey branching last?

Relationships that begin through monkey branching face serious challenges. The same behaviors that caused the initial overlap often reappear later. Even if the relationship feels exciting at first, unresolved emotional issues and a lack of accountability may lead to future instability.

Trust also becomes a major barrier. When a relationship begins with secrecy or deception, the new partner may question whether the same thing could happen to them.

For a relationship that began this way to succeed, most find that several conditions must be met:

• Honest recognition and accountability for the behavior.
• Exploration of the psychological factors driving it.
• Development of new, healthier relationship skills.
• Clear communication and mutually agreed boundaries.

Can couples therapy help?

Couples therapy is designed to address the root causes of monkey branching and rebuild trust. Therapy may offer a space to explore unmet emotional needs, fears of abandonment or dissatisfaction that may have contributed to the behavior.

A licensed therapist aims to help both partners develop stronger communication, establish healthy boundaries and rebuild emotional safety. However, for therapy to be effective for most, the partner engaging in monkey branching must be willing to take accountability and work on change. If not, individual therapy may be a more appropriate first step to address underlying attachment or self-esteem issues.

This story was produced by LifeStance Health and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.