Morgan Hill mourns slain teen with domestic violence workshop

Wednesday, as Morgan Hill continued to grieve the loss of 18-year-old Marissa DiNapoli, friends, family, and the community came together for a workshop about domestic violence.

Last week, DiNapoli was found dead with several stab wounds. Then, her 20-year-old boyfriend, Martin Mendoza was arrested and charged with her murder.

People in Morgan Hill are trying to honor Marissa by giving others the tools they need to escape abuse.

Many said they saw boyfriend Martin Mendoza as possessive, violent and manipulative.

But as the domestic violence workshop laid out Wednesday evening - it’s not so easy to get out - even if you know there’s abuse going on.

Dinapoli’s sister, Monice Ramirez, struggled with domestic violence herself.

“I never left him because I was scared, right? And in my head, like, my parents had all these kids together and we stayed together. They beat each other up all the time. They did drugs together. But they must have loved each other, right?”

Ramirez stayed with her abusive partner, and said she easily could have wound up with the same fate that eventually befell her sister.

“He brutally attacked me. He cut my ear off and slit my throat, and then he strangled me with the power cable. I won't, I'm not. I shouldn't be alive right now.”

She said something like this event could have helped her sooner, and even saved her sister’s life.

“If somebody would have told me what the signs were, then I probably would have listened.”

She said now part of her mourning is being the influence that she and Marissa didn’t have.

“I didn't go through what I went through, and then I didn't watch my sister go through what she went through for us, for us, my family, to not make a difference. And if it was at the expense of my sister, then she’ll always be remembered.”

Therapists and domestic violence experts led exercises and games to educate and make people feel more comfortable talking about the problem.

They say many people don’t realize the scope of domestic violence.

“1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence in their lifetime. 29% of women and 10% of men have experienced rape, violence or stalking. 1 in 3 teens will experience dating use before high school graduation. 24 people per minute experience abuse.”

Domestic violence experts say many abusive people can first appear like ideal partners before things gradually change.
They say every abusive relationship is different, but the most common tell that someone could become violent is trying to establish power or control over the other person.

The national domestic violence hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233.